


Out Of The Darkness (On indefinite hiatus)

by APastandFutureNerd



Series: HanniBelle Stories [2]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/ Comfort, F/F, Friendship, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Im trying to write it as strangers to friends to lovers, McFoster, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Romance, Trauma, Two brave women that deserve a lot more, alcohol as bad coping mechanism, emotional burden, emotional walls, tender moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25962934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/APastandFutureNerd/pseuds/APastandFutureNerd
Summary: Jack Crawford comes and brings Molly Graham the bad news that Will is alive and has been spotted in Cuba with Dr. Lecter. He tells her that she’s not alone in this. After a while, she decides to visit Reba, the ex-lover of the Dragon. After an initial rejection, Reba gets interested and visits her one day. A friendship ensues which develops into more than a mere support companionship and into a relationship.
Relationships: Molly Graham & Original Character, Molly Graham & Reba McClane, Molly Graham/Reba McClane
Series: HanniBelle Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608910
Comments: 21
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have a writer’s block on my multi-chapter stories and kind of lost my confidence, the motivation and the ideas to continue them. The spark, which always accompanied me, is gone. Sorry to keep you waiting. One day I will be back, when it returns. When that happens, I can’t tell you. Maybe in a few months or in a few years. Who knows? Thanks for reading, liking and commenting, though 💕 It means the world to me.
> 
> Sorry for letting you down, but that’s the way it is right now.
> 
> I’ve learned not to start any WIPs on AO3 anymore. 
> 
> Please stay healthy and safe. 
> 
> Love you,
> 
> APastandFutureNerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am stuck on my Hannigram stories. To be honest, I do feel a little burned out on them and so i try something new. These characters deserve a happy ending. Both Molly and Reba are truly strong women and we need to see more content with them on AO3! The show gave us so much female representation, why not on AO3, too?Despite my preference for Hannigram, I have to say that Will did her dirty in the end. He’s a jerk and Molly deserves better than this half-assed relationship.  
> The story will have a good and fluffy ending but we will have to go through emotional pain first :/
> 
> I’ll update as I go.

_“Out of the darkness, we came running_

_Leaving all our ghosts and our hurt behind_

_Leaving that bag of stones behind_

_In the darkness, we keep running”_

**My Indigo - Out of the Darkness**

“So to sum it all up, Molly concluded, processing the shocking but not altogether surprising information that Will was apparently alive and had simply chosen not to return to her. He could have at least written her a letter, damn it. Her eyes shot up to the ceiling, and she had to take a deep breath to calm down. Her hands tightened the grip around the white mug of steaming Irish coffee with whiskey. Some time ago, Molly had found Will’s secret supplies despite his promises to stop drinking.

“Will and Hannibal Lecter killed Dolarhyde together, faked their deaths, and ran away. Is that what you’re suggesting?” 

Jack Crawford nodded and looked at her with a grave expression on his face, which bore the accumulated evidence of all the anguish and grief he had gone through in the last years. The dark bags under his eyes proved he was tired from the eternal chase and the horror of the murders, too. He heaved a sigh. “Yes, the evidence is compelling; they have survived and left together.”

Molly took a large sip and a generous bite of the biscuit. Her gaze dropped to the table, and she fell silent. Only the ticking of the clock was audible. Loud and bordering on annoying. 

“Eyewitnesses have seen them together in Cuba not so long ago.”

Another sharp blow to her heart. She said nothing to that and tried to maintain her facade. A part of her always had been aware to some extent Will hid a lot of his past from her- he had never told her the full story about his scars, only a short explanation and some vague insinuations. However, she had never expected at all that it would come to this.

When his nightmares slowly subsided, the longer they were together, and he finally stopped sleeping on the couch, Molly had believed Will finally shed off his ties to the monster that had once tormented and abused him in his past.

“I’m truly sorry Will did this to you,” Jack Crawford said to Molly. He leaned forward in the chair, reaching out for her hand to comfort her. “There is no way I am ever going to forgive him for this. We will look for Lecter and Will and bring them to justice; I promise that to you.” He huffed a breath and stared out of the windows. It was still snowing heavily. “With my life.”

Another dense moment of silence in which he sipped from his own cup of coffee to empty it.

“But it seems Will was a ticking time bomb all along”, he said.

Molly let out a derisive scoff but swallowed the derogatory, hateful comment rising within her. She created a distance between him and her by leaning back against the wooden wall. She took another sip, hoping the alcohol would kick in soon and numb the pain, although Molly knew it wasn’t going to help at all. They sat in a similar position like that when Jack Crawford decided to visit them the first time when the murders of Dolarhyde began. Only that this time Will wasn’t around.

She had lots to tell the agent. A lot of bottled-up frustration sat in her chest, wanting to burst out to the surface. After all, it was his fault to have involved Will in the Tooth Fairy case. He had brought that destructive side out in him. But Molly was polite, sometimes too gracious. 

Everyone was sorry when Will didn’t come back immediately, and she was left waiting. Jack Crawford. Her neighbors. Her parents thought they had been a great fit. But their apologies only wanted to make them feel better and comfortable and not her. They didn’t understand what it was like to tell your son for the second time the father wasn’t found to come back. 

It didn’t ease any of the pain, the abandonment, and the burdens Will had left her with. She had thought, after all the pointless dating, after the first broken marriage and the abusive relationship, he was going to be the right one. But damn had she been wrong.

”If you feel comfortable with that, I could send some agents for protection as long as they are on the loose”, Jack offered.

“I appreciate it,” she replied, her voice cracking ”But we’ll be fine. I don’t want..I don’t want Wally to worry. I want to go on with our lives.”

Molly struggled so hard to suppress the hot tears making their way forward. Wally shouldn’t witness any of this. But in the end, they needed to get out. 

A small rivulets of tears finally ran down her cheek as she couldn’t suppress them anymore. These damn tears she had fought for so long as she had promised to fight and climb out of this valley of horror. These damn tears that she didn’t want to cry in front of Wally in the last weeks to show him that everything’s going to be alright. That Will would come back. But this was a moment in which the dam broke. 

“I know, I’m the last person to tell you what to do, but maybe a support group could help you find some solace and peace,” he suggested in a warm, comforting voice. His eyes flickered over her face with an understanding expression. 

“You are not the only one who experienced what you did. There is a survivor who was affiliated with Francis Dolarhyde and went through the same trauma” Jack remarked quietly. “Just a suggestion. “From my experience,talking with other trauma survivors can help to process this.”

“Thank you for the advice and the hint,” she replied curtly, her voice hoarse and husky, managing a faint smile, although she didn’t feel like it. “

A phone buzzed. It was Jack’s. “Sorry,” he told Molly with an apologizing look. He withdrew the phone from the pocket and read the message on the screen. 

“An urgent call, I’m afraid,” he apologized to her with a wry smile. “I think I have taken enough of your time.”

Jack rose from the chair, pushed it back. He walked to the coat rack, put on his dark brown woolen coat and fedora hat. Molly accompanied him to the door and opened it for him, relieved the agent would finally disappear. 

“I’ll visit you when I have more news. Better ones”, he corrected himself with the hint of a smile. 

Her face hardened, and her gentle eyes became cold and detached. All the pretension of friendliness was gone. Only bitterness remained.

“I’d prefer if you don’t,” she replied coolly. “I think I don’t want to see you ever again at my home. A call should be enough; should you require my assistance or my statement. Goodbye, Agent Crawford.”

Jack bowed his head and looked at her one last time with sorrow but understanding in his eyes. “Goodbye, Molly.” 

Turning back, he strutted down the wooden stairs, stepped through the snow, and went to his black FBI vehicle. 

After watching the car get lost from view with bitterness, Molly went back into the house and checked on her son. Wally was sitting on the bed; his feet pulled up to his chest for comfort. He was supposed to do homework for school, but the books on the desk were still closed, and nothing had been written into the notebook. 

“He isn’t going to come back, is he?” Wally murmured, not looking up at her. He had listened to their conversation. He was not stupid; Molly should have known that. Wally always had been super perceptive. “He’s a murderer now,” Wally said these words without any further emotions in his voice; the face was cold and hard.

Molly’s chest tightened. The pain of knowing and having to lie about it to Wally was hard to bear. She wrapped her arms around Wally in an attempt to soothe him. Perhaps also to relieve herself.

“It’s going to be alright,” she said fiercely. She sought eye contact. But he avoided looking back at her. “We will be alright. He will be caught and pay for what he’s doing.”

One of them had to believe that, at least.

“Yeah, sure,” Wally replied to that, equally emotionless as before and withdrew from her arms. “I’m going to bed. He let go of his knees, grabbed a pajama, and went to the bathroom.

At night, the incident with Dolarhyde nearly killing them still haunted her. Molly had a hard time falling asleep. She jerked at every creaking branch and the rattling of the door, even though it was the wind. Her heart made some leaps. 

Molly dreamed of the incident when Dolarhyde came to kill them. She dreamed of leaving the cabin back in the middle of the night. She imagined how they waited with bated breath behind the chopped wood before running to the street, stopping the car on the road. 

She jerked in bed when a gunshot pierced the back window of the car, as she drove away from the Tooth Fairy. Dolarhyde fired one shot after another to kill them off. The vehicle skidded dangerously on the slippery, icy road. Out of nowhere, two other men appeared in the middle of the road again, smirking and pointing pistols at her. 

Getting closer, Molly noticed the figures on the road were Will and Hannibal Lecter, but Molly couldn’t steer the car into another direction. She screamed as Will fired a shot at her and Wally. Lecter wore a devilish smile on his face as Will pulled the trigger.

At the precise moment of her death, Molly woke up. Her breathing went fast, and her heart raced in her chest. For a minute she thought, she would choke. It took her some moments until her pulse slowed down again. Instinctively, Molly tossed the duvet aside and sat up. She required something to soothe her nerves. Putting on her slippers, she slinked into the kitchen. As quietly as possible, she grabbed a glass, a bottle of whiskey from Will’s private supplies.

She lingered in the dark kitchen and took two or three sips while peaking out of the window. Everything was silent. The amber liquid burned in her mouth as she thought about how she already had Irish coffee today, about Will. Molly shook her head when she recognised that she was imitating his self-destructive behaviour and this action. She poured the leftover content of the glass into the sink, placed the bottle back where she found it, locked the cabinet,then went back to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very angsty, I admit, but this comes from my depressed state. It will get better, I promise. It takes some time.

No matter what Molly did, the memories of her time with Will didn’t leave her alone during her everyday life.They were tenacious like annoying goblins and hit her in the most unwanted moment. When she was preparing the dough for the brownies with Wally on a particularly cold Sunday afternoon, she remembered Will baking chocolate cookies together with Wally - not so long ago before Jack had come knocking.

When she did meal prep in the late evening after work for Wally and herself, she thought of Will cooking Louisianan gumbo or some fish he had caught in the lake nearby and of how flawlessly he worked in the kitchen. He had always been the better cook of the two of them She wondered if he had learned one or things or two from Lecter during his time in Baltimore.

A repugnant association of them cooking together in the kitchen somewhere on that sunny, blissful island popped up in her mind. A sick and clammy feeling at the mere thought of them killing people and eating human meat seized her. Molly sank the knife harder into the beet root until they juice spurted all over the cutting board. She dropped the knife as the beet root juice reminded her of blood. 

Another day, the door next to the piles of chopped wood broke again. Not wanting to call someone to fix it for her and appear weak and needy, she worked at it for hours desperately and the association of Will working at it popped up into her mind. One day she had watched him from their little balcony while he tinkered on the door downstairs. He had whistled to an old country-rock song with the dogs next to him. Will had always been a sweet man. Molly didn’t understand why she couldn’t see it when it all had been there from the beginning.

Some people were like Sisyphus. No matter how many times they fall flat on their nose in life were disappointed, betrayed, or punished, they had an unwavering, firm faith it would work out someday and everything would be alright if they tried again and again and rolled that stone up to the mountain. Even if it means it would take them years or a whole lifetime to find comfort or solace once more. Even if it never came like in the case of the poor king in Hades’ underworld and they would die without having even managed at all.

Molly had always been a fighter, no matter how hopeless and seemingly dire her situation was. She had always picked herself up and tried to make the way up to the mountain again, pursuing happiness and peace after a troubled past. Even after the breakup with her first husband, Molly didn’t resign and worked hard as she could to make things easier for her beloved Wally. To get a firm stance in life. 

Now she felt robbed of her firm beliefs in love and hope when this damn Jack Crawford appeared with a file in his hand and a grave expression, uttering words which shattered her heart.This moment her unwavering faith in mankind had disappeared. It was extinguished like a flame. Molly was unsure at the moment if that burning fire would come back again, but she had to try.

If not for herself, then for Wally. She needed to be strong and tough for both of them.

So Molly decided to keep bottling the emotions again. She wiped the tears away in the morning and pretended to be happy and strong for the sake of Wally.

But it is only a matter of time until steel erodes. 


	3. Chapter 3

The weeks were filled with hundreds of tasks to be dealt with after it was clear that Will abandoned her for good. Molly had to force herself to become proactive. In order to be able to pay the pills while waiting for the recompensation, Molly worked now full time and even on the weekends at Walmart in Lake City.

Will’s salary and savings were dearly missed. After all he had left them with nine dogs that needed to be fed. Some of them needed medication, too. Luckily, a good neighbor of hers, living one mile away from her, an elderly Cuban woman called Diana Martinez took care of Wally. While Molly worked, Diana fetched Wally from school, cooked meals for him, and kept him entertained when Molly wasn’t around. 

But the result of her absence was that Wally got more irritated and closed off whenever she had free time on Sunday evenings to talk to him.

Despite initial hesitations, Molly returned the habit of drinking alcohol, if she liked it or not. Molly filled the late evenings with glasses of wine in front of the old television they hadn’t used in ages. She stared at the movie “ _Love Actuall_ y” but didn’t take in what was going on. These silly, cheesy movies always cheered her up but today the rom com taunted her in some way and left her feeling empty. Even books couldn’t distract her well enough. The existential crisis loomed over her head like a sword. 

One evening, Molly had a meltdown in the living room. It was all too much. She was having a row with Wally about his grades at school and why he didn’t want to talk about it. The teachers had called her and expressed their concerns about Wally’s behaviour. Their reproachful look and speeches indicating that she wouldn’t be a good mother were the last drop in the brimming cup. Molly knew she shouldn’t lose her temper, but she did.

“It’s your fault, mom”, Wally shouted at the top of his voice, scaring the dogs. “You should’ve stayed with Dad. With my real dad.”

Her son shot an angry glare at her, turned around and stomped up the stairs. The door to his room slammed shut. A click indicated that he locked it from the inside. Molly knocked and knocked at the door but he wouldn’t open and let her in.

Hearing the shouting and arguing, the dogs whined and barked and were terrified, but Molly paid them no mind as she was so exhausted. She slumped onto the soft, brown couch in the living room. The fire in the fireplace had gone out and it was cool in the cabin. 

Diana came over a few minutes later after Molly had called her, sobbing into her phone and tidied up the kitchen and took the wine bottle away from her. Then she warmed up the leftover stew she had cooked at home.

“Whether you like to hear it or not, _querida_ , but you need help”, Diana told her in her motherly, stern manner and handed her a plate with the food - hearty stew with sweet potatoes, kidney beans, lentils, then settled down next to her and leaned back.

“It is okay to look for help. Everyone needs it at some point.” 

The elderly woman with the long black hair mixed with silver-grey hair bestowed her with a compassionate smile. Some time ago, her husband had died of cancer. Her son had been in jail now and then and not really a reliable son. Diana knew what Molly was going through so she gave her the best support she could muster. 

Molly stirred the stew with her spoon. Her appetite had completely gone. 

“You must eat. You lost some pounds lately and look peaky.”

It was true, Molly had neglected eating food herself, placing the needs of Wally first. 

Molly sighed then led the spoon with the stew to her mouth. She felt how the warmth of the soup rushed through the body and made her comfortable again. 

“It’s super yummy”, Molly told the woman and gave her a warm smile. “Thank you. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” She placed the bowl down and pulled Diana into a hug. 

“It’s nothing, my dear”, Diana said. 

To Molly she really was an angel. 

The next morning, Molly called in sick at work for one week despite the need for the money. As she had always been a very ambitious employee, they accepted it without further complaint. Molly got a medical attest and Diana brought it over to HR.

With the help of Diana, she searched for therapists near Lake City and gave lots of them a call. Later, when she had talked on the voice mail of many therapists. she thought of the hint Jack Crawford had given her, that someone connected with Dolarhyde had gone through the same ordeal. 

Molly checked Tattlecrime.com and read the article about Francis Dolarhyde’s death. Next, she researched RebaMcClane’s address on Whitepages and took some precautions. Her shift supervisors wouldn’t be pleased if they knew she was traveling and far from being sick, but be it as it was. Molly felt it was the right thing to do. 


	4. Chapter 4

It was a hell of a long drive to St. Louis in Missouri. Molly swallowed when she checked the route on Google Maps. In fact, it was a twelve hour ride from Florida, but Molly couldn’t afford to pay for a flight which would cost around 300-500 dollars at minimum and only when there were special offers. Nonetheless, Molly made her way there without any further complications and her middle-aged car didn’t break down when she was in the middle of nowhere. It drove and drove over the interstates without causing her any problems.  


Only once or twice she had to check on the motor oil and refill a little. Still, the car mechanics had done a great job some weeks ago. During the drive, Molly occasionally stopped and stayed in a motel in Atlanta and Nashville to get some sleep for a few hours. She called Wally and Diana, checking if everything was okay.

One day later, she arrived in St. Louis in the late afternoon.The city was beautiful and bristling with life. It had sights to offer, such as the mighty Gateway Arch hovering above the bridge,but Molly paid the sights,the beautiful sight from the bridge she was crossing no mind. Exhausted from the drive, Molly drove to the motel at the outskirt of the northern outskirt of the city and rested there for a while. The next day, a Saturday, Molly drove to Clayton, the part of St. Louis where Reba presumably lived. Or had lived. 

Molly couldn’t suppress her nervousness when she rang the doorbell next to the black wooden door and was giddy with anticipation. Her legs were shaking and she couldn’t stand still. She bit on her nails - a habit that came up in the last few weeks again. 

How would the other woman react?  Would she recognize her? Would she want to talk at all? The realization she might have called her before the ambush dawned upon Molly Now she regretted not having called in advance. She felt stupid.

When no one opened at first, Molly curled her hands into fists, cursed herself, and turned away from the door to leave. Of course, Reba would have already moved to another apartment to protect herself from curious journalists. Something that she and Wally should do as well before Freddie Lounds would come knocking to get information for her obscene articles. A new start without any memories of her old husbands and nosy journalists. 

Molly turned her back to the door and walked the stairs again,when the door opened and a woman with black wavy hair and brown eyes appeared at the threshold. It was Reba. She recognised her from the photos on the website. She was a beautiful woman - that was Molly’s first thought. Hell, why was that the first thing she noticed about her? She got lost in her head for some moments and neglected greeting Reba.

“Hello?” Reba said in her gentle voice, sounding confused as she didn’t hear a voice which usually announced the presence of the visitor. She knitted her eyebrows.“Is there somebody?”

Oh, of course, Molly thought, remembering that Reba was blind and couldn’t see her. She should say something to announce her presence.

“Hi ”, Molly said, as friendly as she could sound. “Sorry for the silence. I-I forgot your dang see.I’m Molly Graham. I wanted to talk to you about something.” A little nervous laugh followed. 

“May I come in?”

“Sorry, but what is this about?” Reba asked, wary of the strange woman, standing at the doorstep. 

Reba had become very cautious of letting people into her life since the incident with Francis and the trauma. After that, she had sworn to be more careful and had her emotional walls built up high. She only had some friends of hers from her time as a teacher at the school for blind people. But her contacts had become scarce since the traumatic experience. Reba was not someone to be exploited for comfort. Her heightened empathy had always attracted codependent or broken people. Just like Francis. 

Molly bit on her bottom lip and dug her nails into the palm of her hand until it hurt. Maybe that hadn’t been such a good idea but here she was, having made the effort. She tried to relax and inhaled a sharp breath. 

“I’m not sure if you have heard in the news but my former husband, you know, the FBI agent Will Graham, had killed Francis Dolarhyde together with Lecter. I just thought it would be nice to talk to you”, she blurted out quickly.

Rebas lips formed a thin line. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about it”, Reba replied in a friendly, yet decisive tone, ending the conversation that way. “Please go away.” Her voice crackled. 

With these words, she shut the door in front of her face and Molly felt like a fool.“God, what did you even expect, you fool?“ She said to herself and she shook her head as she returned to her car parked along the street in front of the rows of modern residential houses. Molly slumped into her car seat and remained seated there to calm down again. For some reason, the blatant rejection hurt her.

Molly decided to use the time she had to have a look at the city. It’s something she hadn’t done in a long time, even though she regretted it to do it without Wally. Will never really liked going into the metropolis because of the crowds, so they didn’t go to cities like New York as she always wanted and remained reclusive. She wiped the poisonous memories away. But it was nice to be on her own. Molly strolled through the Citygarden Sculptures Park, had a closer look at the tall Gateway Arch hovering above the city, before she visited the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis. She went to a diner called J’s on the Boulevard and ordered a juicy veggie burger and fries. Fuck the budget for now. It was a good comfort food. Better than drinking alcohol, thought Molly.

The next day she appeared at Reba’s doorstep again and apologized profoundly whenshe . Reba hesitated a tad too long. Actually, she felt lonely, too and she admired the courage and persistence of Mrs. Graham. She sensed she was a tough and interesting woman. And yet she didn’t know if she was ready yet. 

Molly took that as a cue to go. Resignation and anxiety welled you inside her. “I’m sorry to have bothered you at all. You’ll never hear of me again”, she assured the other woman and turned away and walked away with fierce steps.

“Wait”, Reba called, but it was too late. Molly was out of sight and didn’t hear her anymore.

Frustrated, Molly returned to her motel. After checking out, she phoned Diana to tell her that she will be home earlier than expected and started her way back home after shopping some snacks and beverages for the road trip. Molly was mad at herself for being so naive. No one would like to be ambushed in such a way. She felt so bad, so bad about doing that without a proper phone call in advance and asking if that was okay. Besides, such things weren’t like her at all. 

____________

It was 10 AM on another cozy Saturday. Reba ate some warm porridge for breakfast, then sat on the floor of her room with closed eyes, starting her morning yoga session. She focused on her breathing and let her thoughts wander. Positive and negative thoughts rushed through her but she let them move forward like a stream. Yoga helped her a lot with focussing on herself and accepting her inner turmoil following the aftermath with Francis. It brought her some peace of mind, even though Yoga wasn’t only about mental hygiene. She had a long way to go to. Yoga was a complex matter. 

When she wanted to do the first exercise, the ringing of the door bell annoyed her and tore her out of the special state of mind. Reba disentangled her legs, stood up, stretching her body then walked through the hallway towards the main entrance, wondering who on Earth that person was, disturbing her peaceful Saturday morning. A salesman maybe? She would tell him to never visit her again. 

Reba wasn’t in the mood for many visits currently. She had drawn her emotional walls up high since she figured that her former lover had been a serial rapist and killer. Reba relied on herself most of the time and she took pride in it. 

Occasionally she met with friends and colleagues after work, but only for a drink or dinner and never took anyone home. Reba had promised to herself as well that she would pay better attention and not trust people that easily anymore. 

When she opened the door and the woman introduced herself as Molly Graham and told her about the nature of the visit, Reba was conflicted. From what she perceived by the rambling of the woman in front of her, Mrs Graham was in a rather desperate mental state. She surely wasn’t a bad person, but amiable and sweet, yet Reba couldn’t cope with the level of desperation radiating off her. What she needed to sort her own emotions first. Reba didn’t want to be used as a mere support companion. 

She returned into her house and resumed her Yoga session but she didn’t manage to slip into that peaceful state of mind. A part of her was sorry for the unfriendly treatment. 

And yet..there was something intriguing about Molly Graham. She liked the sound of her voice and her amiable accent when she talked. 

When she came again, apologised profoundly and told her she wouldn’t use her as a mere punching ball, Reba hesitated. 

Maybe talking to someone else would help. 

Maybe making a new friend would be good.

But she hesitated a tad too long and Molly Graham had then disappeared in her anxiety.

Reba regretted not having asked her for her number but she’d surely find it. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Homophobic slur (someone said that to Wally)

In the weeks following the unsuccessful encounter with Reba, Molly decided to focus on healing without her help. Well, if Reba didn’t want to connect with her, that was just fine. Molly couldn’t change that. She could only work on herself, her attitude and expectations. Having found a suitable and trustworthy therapist specialised in family trauma and cognitive behavioural therapy, she went to her regular appointments despite her contempt for psychiatrist since Dr. Lecter screwing up her ex-husband.

Sometimes alone, sometimes together with Wally. It was hazardous work to get through her traumatic memories, face her self-destructive coping habits , irritable behaviour and confront the worrying reclusive behaviour her son was showing. 

Things were slowly getting better, even though it was and always would be a bumpy ride. Her relationship with Wally was fragile and tense as were the discussions with the teachers and parents of Wally’s bullies. Molly decided not to push her luck and be careful with him. At least he talked and came to her when he had nightmares or bad grades in maths and biology or someone else had called his step dad a faggot that ran away with a killer. Hearing this, Molly’s heart broke every time. She told herself and Wally there was no shame to stay down a year at school and focus on getting better. And if the bullying wouldn’t stop, they would move away and Wally would get to a new school. 

Yet there was still this ache in her soul. The wounds were mending, but mending was even more painful sometimes. She was lonely in the evenings when Diana was not around and Wally in bed. The right space on the bed felt terribly empty.Not only that but Molly’s thoughts kept drifting back to Reba, even though she tried to brush the thoughts away. Molly was confused. Why would she think about her so often? Maybe it was because she projected too much of her emotional desires into her. 

Molly tried and tried very hard, but her thoughts drifted back to Reba. She thought about her, even though Molly had only seen her twice. 

The ghost of Dolarhyde still haunted her, too. Too often she was back in that stolen car nearly drifting off the road with Dolarhyde killing the unfortunate man and she woke up sweating and panting every single time. Cursing, she tossed and turned in her sheets until she got up and had another hot shower. 

Molly slipped back into her comfy pajama, fluffy socks, and made herself tea for the nerves and took prescribed sedatives before returning to her bedroom. No more alcohol at night. She worked hard in keeping alcohol away from her. Most of the time it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. Her therapist said she shouldn’t be too hard on herself. 

Waiting for the effect of the medication to set in, Molly grabbed the old fantasy novel with the layer of dust from the nightstand and started reading a little bit until her eyes became heavy as lid. One day, you won’t be dreaming of this anymore, Molly told herself, closed her eyes for the billionth time this time and sought a comfortable sleeping position in the bed.

On a Sunday afternoon, sometime after, when she didn’t even think about her visit of Reba anymore, she and Wally prepared themselves for an afternoon in the cinema nearby. They wanted to watch the movie _Inside Out._ They were just putting on their coat and shoes when the phone rang. Molly rushed back. Without checking the number on the display, Molly picked up the phone from the docking station and held it to her ear.

“Hello?“ Molly asked, sounding distrustful at first, not wanting to give away her name. A lesson she had to pay a high price for. 

“Is this Mrs.Graham I am speaking with?“ A female, pleasant voice asked.Molly recognised the voice in an instant.

“Sorry, it’s Reba. Reba McClane. .I wanted to apologize for my rudeness when you visited me. You know...I just didn’t feel ready for the confrontation. It came so suddenly that you appeared at my home. I was...overwhelmed.If you still want to talk….we could meet.”

Molly’s jaw dropped. This was something she hadn’t expected at all after all this time. Her cheeks flushed.

“Mum”, Wally said out loudly in a reproachful tone.

She removed the phone from her ear and gazed at Wally who lingered in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Give me three minutes, honey. Take the keys and go to the car. Why don’t you remove the snow from the windows and heat it up?”

“Yes, mom.”

She tossed the car keys into his direction. Wally caught them with ease and walked out to open the car, shutting the door behind them. 

“Sorry about that, that was my son. We’re heading to the cinema.”

“No problem”, Reba answered in her sweet, pleasant voice.“How old is he?”

“Eleven.”

“Well, what a nice surprise that you called me back”, Molly continued. Her lips curled into a smile.

”Honestly, I didn’t expect you to call me. Thank you so much.”

Molly wished she had more time for their conversation but time was a pressing matter. 

“So, when and where should we meet?” Molly finally asked. “I have to talk to my boss about taking off as I was on sick leave for a week not so long ago. I can only spare Sunday afternoon these days.”

“That’s okay. I can come over to you. I don’t work on the weekends. Just give me the address.”

“Is that really wise? I mean it’s a long ride. Don’t you need any help-“, Molly began. but Reba cut her off. 

“I can handle that, don’t worry”, she said decisively. “You live in Florida, right??”

“Yes, near Lake Montgomery”, Molly said. “Do you have something to write?”

“One moment, I need to fetch my slate and stylus.”

A rustling noise could be heard in the background as Reba fetched her tools. Molly waited patiently until the woman at the other end was ready. 

“Got it”, Reba said, a little breathlessly from hurrying back and forth to look for for her tools to write.

With a fond smile on her face, Molly dictated her address to Reba. After that she ended the call, saying she would be looking forward to meeting her again and that she had to go now. She placed down the phone and hurried out of the house, locking the main door behind her. 

Relief flooded through her body. It showed itself in the warmth on her cheeks and the relaxing of her muscles. Molly was giddy with joy, even though she didn’t know why she should be. It was just a meeting after all. But she allowed herself to look forward to talking to her. Not only to have someone to talk to about all the fucked up stuff that happened to them,no, but being friends with her to start all over.


End file.
